I sat down to read my Bible this morning....the verse "Seek Him First" was going through my head....
I would love to say I always Seek Him first but I am worried about this pile of paper or that load of laundry or my e-mail/Facebook or ZUMBA music and routines....and I know better...:):):) but I also know that He is by my side ALL DAY / EVERY DAY to converse with :)

so anyway..I went to Matthew , where that verse is...6:33...and you can tell I go there A LOT! the pages have literally come out of my Bible...but there is soooo much great stuff surrounding that verse!

Cannot serve two masters..Cannot love God and Love Money
Do Not Worry
Do not judge others
Ask and it will be given to you, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened
Choose the Narrow Gate ...it says not many will :(:(:( don't like that thought AT ALL!
A Tree and it's Fruit!

the DO NOT WORRY made me think about my husband. I won't say he is "worried" but definitely concerned...we are not financially where the world says we should be right now as far as retirement goes....and he thinks that I am just like *bopping my head around* "whatever"

I am not "whatever" I am just not worried. I don't know what is going to happen...but when it is just the two of us and we aren't taking care of children, we won't need as much....I am not looking to live a "lavish" lifestyle...though I would like a little more than necessities...as long as we have necessities, then that's all we need. :)

It got me thinking about him retiring....Is retiring in the Bible? What is retiring? Now, please know that I am not wanting to work my husband to the bone until the day he dies..I am just thinking out loud. so what is retirement?

Then I got to thinking that I will hopefully have a job after my kids are grown so I can help "save for retirement"...but what I am going to be doing? (I AM NOT WORRYING! JUST TALKING OUT LOUD!)

we know I won't be ZUMBAing forever. :) I don't know how many people want an "older" personal trainer :p

then I thought about my book....the one that everyone tells me I should write :) The one that yesterday I was sooo longing to just sit and write and was soooo disappointed that I didn't have time.

It is 8:04 right now. I should be getting the kids ready for church...It starts at 9. I guess we are going to the 10:45 service because most of them are sleeping and I don't feel like stressing....I hate starting Sunday mornings yelling. :)

Things that consume my mind lately...
Zumba playlists and routines
the fact that my house is in total disarray...my kids sleep on the living room floor or couch or chair or the floor beside our bed...the boys beds are available but a LOT of the girls stuff is in there so it's kind of claustrophobic in there..I remind them about the beds but they choose anywhere else...
the girls floors will be finished soon and then they can move back in there
the downstairs bathroom is totally disassembled..but at least there is a toilet in there....I have no motivation to get in there. :( I really really really need to...it would be a great feeling of accomplishment! and then there is Alex's bathroom...which does NOT have a toilet and it is really really bad in there....but baby steps is the only way this stuff will get finished and I have had myself soo stressed out....I literally felt as if I had blisters in the back of my throat and my body was super achy (the fibromyalgia (SP?) achy)....I can't do that to myself!

AFAA....I am getting certified on September 9..I just got my HUGE book and study guide two days ago and I have to find time to study...there are 7 sections to study and I have a little less than 6 weeks...I need to find an hour a day....ONE HOUR of uninterrupted time just for AFAA.
Mike has a test he is cramming for also..he takes his test at the end of this month so I have to give him his study time first...totally cool and understandable. :)

The kids. It is their summer. I have been trying to play card games with them...or sit with Zach and Siler while they play Wii or something...but I have so much going through my head I feel like I am neglecting them...I am sure they are fine....they are just such great kids...They are very patient with me...I feel they put up with a lot....I am not trying to have guilty talk..I am just talking out loud. :P
I guess it is just so different because Sophia and Alex were my EEEEEEVERYTHIIIIING.....and now this is probably more normal but it is sooooo different it feels weird.......

Thinking about my novel....I think I am going to start it with something like "my very first memory is when I was three years old...My Aunt Patty was coming to Saint Louis from El Paso...I was in the nursery at church and I stood by a baby crib and pooped my pants"

That is the weirdest first memory. What is yours?

I feel bad for the nursery workers that had to clean me up that day. I wonder if I still know them today. I am facebook friends with a lot of the "older than me" ladies from that church. :P lol

Inhale......Exhale.....



I have made waffles, oatmeal and pancakes....I am thinking egg burritos this morning. I wish I had some turkey bacon. mmmmm.....I made some mac-n-cheese last night...with white cheddar and basil, oregano, and garlic..mmmm mmmmm it was goooooood....and then we had some chicken patties from Costco that had veggies in them....mmm mmmm good.....(if you knew how little to none that I cook...this would be a big deal to you too)

One more thing that has been consuming my mind, more than I like....is the fact that there are people in other countries that do not have access to clean water...It costs $4800 for an entire well to be dug...I am not saying I have it..but that just doesn't seem like too much to supply WATER! WATER! we need water! I know there are hungry children right here in our community, but they have water. I know there are people with cancer and fighting all kinds of disabilities...but they , at least, have water....I hate that this consumes my mind...but not thinking about it doesn't make it go away.

It started at the water park....I know I am such a "downer" but I was there and supposed to be having fun  and I was thinking about how we are all playing in the water...and I soooooo want others to have it.

I did make a donation to Mission Water for Life and that did make me feel a little better because I felt more helpful than helpless...but I want to do more...my girlfriend suggested a ZUMBAthon...it's a thought.

I have never been a "missions" person...I don't feel it's my calling...but I wonder if our "retirement" includes something awesome like that :D

I am not trying to "plug" in..but I am going to say that if you ever get the urge to donate to Water for Life....$24 gives water for like 5 people....LifeToday.org is where I donate and it's tax deductible...:D

and one more "plug"..please say a prayer for Sophia, Brenden, and their baby.

It was nice spending the morning with you....Very therapeutic. :)