Monday, July 25, 2011

ok, frustrated

I have written on my other blog but it won't let me POST. It only saves it....UGH!!!!!


it was a blog I started a long time ago with my gmail acct. and it would just be easier to use it. :P

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I sat down to read my Bible this morning....the verse "Seek Him First" was going through my head....
I would love to say I always Seek Him first but I am worried about this pile of paper or that load of laundry or my e-mail/Facebook or ZUMBA music and routines....and I know better...:):):) but I also know that He is by my side ALL DAY / EVERY DAY to converse with :)

so anyway..I went to Matthew , where that verse is...6:33...and you can tell I go there A LOT! the pages have literally come out of my Bible...but there is soooo much great stuff surrounding that verse!

Cannot serve two masters..Cannot love God and Love Money
Do Not Worry
Do not judge others
Ask and it will be given to you, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened
Choose the Narrow Gate says not many will :(:(:( don't like that thought AT ALL!
A Tree and it's Fruit!

the DO NOT WORRY made me think about my husband. I won't say he is "worried" but definitely concerned...we are not financially where the world says we should be right now as far as retirement goes....and he thinks that I am just like *bopping my head around* "whatever"

I am not "whatever" I am just not worried. I don't know what is going to happen...but when it is just the two of us and we aren't taking care of children, we won't need as much....I am not looking to live a "lavish" lifestyle...though I would like a little more than long as we have necessities, then that's all we need. :)

It got me thinking about him retiring....Is retiring in the Bible? What is retiring? Now, please know that I am not wanting to work my husband to the bone until the day he dies..I am just thinking out loud. so what is retirement?

Then I got to thinking that I will hopefully have a job after my kids are grown so I can help "save for retirement"...but what I am going to be doing? (I AM NOT WORRYING! JUST TALKING OUT LOUD!)

we know I won't be ZUMBAing forever. :) I don't know how many people want an "older" personal trainer :p

then I thought about my book....the one that everyone tells me I should write :) The one that yesterday I was sooo longing to just sit and write and was soooo disappointed that I didn't have time.

It is 8:04 right now. I should be getting the kids ready for church...It starts at 9. I guess we are going to the 10:45 service because most of them are sleeping and I don't feel like stressing....I hate starting Sunday mornings yelling. :)

Things that consume my mind lately...
Zumba playlists and routines
the fact that my house is in total kids sleep on the living room floor or couch or chair or the floor beside our bed...the boys beds are available but a LOT of the girls stuff is in there so it's kind of claustrophobic in there..I remind them about the beds but they choose anywhere else...
the girls floors will be finished soon and then they can move back in there
the downstairs bathroom is totally disassembled..but at least there is a toilet in there....I have no motivation to get in there. :( I really really really need would be a great feeling of accomplishment! and then there is Alex's bathroom...which does NOT have a toilet and it is really really bad in there....but baby steps is the only way this stuff will get finished and I have had myself soo stressed out....I literally felt as if I had blisters in the back of my throat and my body was super achy (the fibromyalgia (SP?) achy)....I can't do that to myself!

AFAA....I am getting certified on September 9..I just got my HUGE book and study guide two days ago and I have to find time to study...there are 7 sections to study and I have a little less than 6 weeks...I need to find an hour a day....ONE HOUR of uninterrupted time just for AFAA.
Mike has a test he is cramming for also..he takes his test at the end of this month so I have to give him his study time first...totally cool and understandable. :)

The kids. It is their summer. I have been trying to play card games with them...or sit with Zach and Siler while they play Wii or something...but I have so much going through my head I feel like I am neglecting them...I am sure they are fine....they are just such great kids...They are very patient with me...I feel they put up with a lot....I am not trying to have guilty talk..I am just talking out loud. :P
I guess it is just so different because Sophia and Alex were my EEEEEEVERYTHIIIIING.....and now this is probably more normal but it is sooooo different it feels weird.......

Thinking about my novel....I think I am going to start it with something like "my very first memory is when I was three years old...My Aunt Patty was coming to Saint Louis from El Paso...I was in the nursery at church and I stood by a baby crib and pooped my pants"

That is the weirdest first memory. What is yours?

I feel bad for the nursery workers that had to clean me up that day. I wonder if I still know them today. I am facebook friends with a lot of the "older than me" ladies from that church. :P lol


I have made waffles, oatmeal and pancakes....I am thinking egg burritos this morning. I wish I had some turkey bacon. mmmmm.....I made some mac-n-cheese last night...with white cheddar and basil, oregano, and garlic..mmmm mmmmm it was goooooood....and then we had some chicken patties from Costco that had veggies in them....mmm mmmm good.....(if you knew how little to none that I cook...this would be a big deal to you too)

One more thing that has been consuming my mind, more than I the fact that there are people in other countries that do not have access to clean water...It costs $4800 for an entire well to be dug...I am not saying I have it..but that just doesn't seem like too much to supply WATER! WATER! we need water! I know there are hungry children right here in our community, but they have water. I know there are people with cancer and fighting all kinds of disabilities...but they , at least, have water....I hate that this consumes my mind...but not thinking about it doesn't make it go away.

It started at the water park....I know I am such a "downer" but I was there and supposed to be having fun  and I was thinking about how we are all playing in the water...and I soooooo want others to have it.

I did make a donation to Mission Water for Life and that did make me feel a little better because I felt more helpful than helpless...but I want to do girlfriend suggested a's a thought.

I have never been a "missions" person...I don't feel it's my calling...but I wonder if our "retirement" includes something awesome like that :D

I am not trying to "plug" in..but I am going to say that if you ever get the urge to donate to Water for Life....$24 gives water for like 5 is where I donate and it's tax deductible...:D

and one more "plug"..please say a prayer for Sophia, Brenden, and their baby.

It was nice spending the morning with you....Very therapeutic. :)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I don't know how people have time to blog anymore...if I sit down, my family thinks I must need something to do. Or that it means I want to hear a really long joke or story...maybe it's because I never sit down...and you would think I would be exaggerating..but I am not. I don't sit. I walk in circles and "pick up" the house all day and yes, I walk by Facebook and see what's up and I walk by my e-mail and see what's up...but the majority of the day I am walking in circles "picking up" people's "STUFF". I hate "STUFF". Hate..yes, that is an ugly word..but I do. I hate "stuff" I don't know what to do with it. I move it from here to there..sometimes the "there" is 3 inches from where I picked it up...

The last time I was on here I was like "CRAZY!" and I am proud to say that I did, in fact, start the next day. :P I know you have heard me say this before...but sometimes I think PMS doesn't exist and this is just my personality...LOL!!!! So when I am uncontrollably emotional and I do start, I am so happy! :)

Friday, July 1st...Alexandria and I painted the girls room, not the ceiling though...I need to paint the ceiling!
Anyway..we were up until after midnight..sooo tired....and I had to get up and teach (SUB) a class the next day...sooooo tired!!! and THEN!
Saturday , late afternoon...Sam, Mia, Zach, and I took off for Van Buren, AR to visit with my bestie and her children for 4th of July.... I got about 20 minutes from home and GASPED as I remembered SHE DOES NOT DRINK COFFEE!!!!!  lol....but I made it...there is a McD's around the corner....and they put the cream in the coffee for you??? I didn't know that! I was impressed! :)
I didn't get there until after 11 Saturday night and I was SOOOOO tired from being up the night before and then teaching a class and then driving 6 hours.....she was talking to me and I wanted to be a fabulous friend and stay up and visit...but my engine ran out of fuel, completely!
I slept in the next all know I do NOT sleep in....I did.
Then I ran to Mc D's for my fuel.
I had told my friend that I would go to church with her ..I didn't want to for a minute but I knew I would be blessed if I did...and I was a beautiful service....but we snuck out early...because I didn't want to put Zach in a completely new class knowing he would never go back and he was (He was REALLY great considering he is a 6 year old boy) getting  fidgety...honestly, I was too. :P
Back ay my friend's house...another friend came over.....we had a wonderful group of 4 friends when I lived in Fort Smith.....3 out of the 4 of us were together. :D My friend was the hostess with the mostess and grilled burgers and had hot dogs and it was awesome and delicious! There were 7 kids there and they all got along wonderful!
I showed them a couple of the new Zumba moves :) and then I cut the other friend's hair. I prayed that the haircut would turn out beautiful because I don't really know what I am doing. :P It turned out awesome! and she loooves it :) Then we all went and watched the fireworks and called it a night :)
4th of July...we were exhausted and all slept in again....we packed up and left
We went to visit Ava....It breaks my heart everytime I see her, how unhappy she is....I wish I lived there so I could visit her often.
I probably have not mentioned that we are not moving.
As I was painting the girls room...I knew how much we were going to need out of our house to move...and it's not that I don't have faith that God could do it....but the house across the street went up for sale by realtor...and was asking $15,000 less than we need and their house is in better condition than ours....yea, we aren't going anywhere for a while. but it's okay....I felt very peaceful when the reality hit me. I am glad it lit a fire under our butts to get some stuff done around here....
but now our house in in complete disarray.Two bathrooms pretty much out of commission and the little girls still don't have a bedroom...their beds are leaning against a wall in Zach and Siler's room.

So I got back from Fort Smith around 9 on the 4th of July..Fireworks galore...and we all needed to tinkle really bad....and because I had taken Mike's car, with his spare key...I did not have a key to the house and we were locked out. AAAUUUGH!!! We went to the nearby grocery use the restrooms....and theplace was EMPTY! Three cashiers waiting to serve and NO ONE in the store....
I had spoke with my husband who was on his way home and would arrive in 45 minutes and I was like "OH YEA! We are grocery shopping!" It was awesome! I might make it 4th of July tradition :P lol
That was that...
So now I am home from a weekend away...I am glad I went, but it was last minute planning....because Mike didn't want to work on the house over the 4th of July weekend...and though I can understand took money out of our budget that our house could use and I lost 3 days I could have completed a LOT...
so I am home and overwhelmed by the house and need to get lots of laundry done and prepare to leave in two days.
The next two days were a blur...I mean I remember them but, as if this isn't already a windy would be loooooong to tell...
So! Thursday morning..I am up at 3am..showering and getting ready to leave for to the airport at was CROWDED!!!!!
There was a lady with a Zumba shirt so I say "hello" Her husband was with her...I said "How nice your husband gets to go!" and she says "He's not going..I am just terrified of flying and he is walking me as far as I can go" so I said, with my huge cheery smile "Oh girl! I've got you :) C'Mon with me!" and she did....and we made it through the flight...and there were times I was scared..(not a fan of flying myself) but I just smiled at her and assured her all was well...while inside I am praying "God, please, you know how many children I have at home that I want to finish raising..not that I won't want to see you in Heaven, but not right now, please God? Get us there and home safe?" :):):) well, He did!!! Prayers answered. YAY! :) :) :) ;p

I went to Convention for 4 days and there is so much to say about it that I don't even want to start. I will say that I learned "some" but for the cost...I won't say it wasn't worth it...because what I learned can't be taken from me....
I will say, I look forward to putting what I learned into action. :)

Then I get home..and I have had something bothering me in my foot for a couple weeks..but I have been ignoring it...well, yesterday it started bothering me enough I called a foot doctor and cancelled my "at home" classes and  tried to get subs for my club classes...Succeeded on one but not the other...which is todays...this morning in 2 hours actually....I haven't taught a class in almost 2 weeks..I should probably get off here and listen to my playlist to see if I remember it :P

If any of you have been Zumbaing on carpet...they have carpet gliders you can put over your tennis would have to GOOGLE them.

Joyce Meyer was SOOOOOOOO awesome today! EXACTLY what I needed to hear..Thank you Jesus! If I would not have heard it, this post would have been 3 hours longer and quite a rant...but God is awesome and loves me and corrects me as a good parent should.:D

The day before I left for Florida, I scheduled my "girl doctor appt" and the day I got back I scheduled my foot dr appt. and they are the same day this day, yes? :P

This probably isn't as popcorn long as I thought it would be but I think I have you all caught up :)

This Saturday is my 20 year reunion formal dinner and I have no idea what to wear. :/ I need shoes...I need my foot to not hurt or it won't matter how well I am dressed if I come limping in :P LOL

I love you. I hope you are having a peaceful day....painless and peaceful....and full of Hope :)

Monday, July 11, 2011

I have an entry started but I can't finish it tonight...I am falling asleep...will post tomorrow???? I hope?
It will be bowl of popcorn long :)