:) I guess it's the first Christmas without Sophia here that is getting to me
She makes me sad, angry, numb.
I , out of habit, want to say "it doesn't matter."
but obviously it matters.
I had a dream that my mom was lying on her back and I was straddling her none to nose eye to eye and I told her I hope she is happy
She lost her daughter and I lost mine
and hopefully the curse will stop here so Sophia won't lose her first daughter too.

I guess that dream tells me I still have some deep rooted anger issues.
DUH. lol
I am smiling.
I know I am on a good road. (believe it or not)
I cannot help that I had that dream
I shouldn't have let it put me in a funk.
but I did and now I know and now I have the choice on what to do from here.

I will keep moving forward.

I will appreciate the wonderful blessings I DO have. :)

(I cannot wait to get the video up of Siler doing a somersault..I don't think I talked about it on here but I know I did on facebook..it's hilarious!!! I have a goal to get it on here by 1/1/11 :P)