Have you ever seen the Saved by the Bell episode where Jessi starts taking caffeine pills because she is so busy and a perfectionist and she overslept before a big performance and when Zach goes to wake her it goes something like
Zach "Jessi, you're late!"
Jessi, jumping out of bed "I HAVE TO GET READY"
Zach" Jessi! There's no time."
Jessi...fists down by her side "no time, NO TIME!!! THERE NEVER IS ANY TIME!!!!!"

yea, that's how I feel, minus the caffeine pills and perfectionism. :P

Same story, different day...

I don't know.
I don't really feel like I have anything interesting to tell you.
it's Friday morning at 5am...
I have been up for an hour
I don't know that I have accomplished much.
I checked our account online
I have balanced the checkbook..
I should do that more often
I put it off because of DREAD
but when I do it I am always relieved
one,because I normally have not bounced anything
THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR PROVISION EVEN THOUGH I AM AN AWFUL STEWARD!
I made coffee
I avoided turning on the television because I didn't feel like crying over those in other countries..
I don't have it in me..and I feel weird being in this place.
I know God would like me to spend time with Him
I know He is here and available
I just don't know.

I know that I wish my blog was like cheerful and interesting and full of beautiful pictures and neat updates on my family..
I know that if I really wanted that ...well, I was going to say I could change it..but honestly..that wouldn't be "me".
so this is me, telling you, I don't know.

seriously laughing out loud!!!! I sit to blog for the first time in days and my dryer buzzed...:P

Sunday morning.
3 sick kids. :(

okay...I am trying to find time to write but everytime I sit down to do it someone or something else needs me. GRRR.

SO..I went to church two weeks ago and loooved it..you all got that...I took the kids to KIDS NIGHT OUT..they loved it...I took them last Sunday and Mike went with me...
the message was AWESOME..

CLIFFNOTES: The Bible is a SWORD..a weapon against the stupid devil's lies...

A weapon in the wrong hands is a dangerous thing.
Like when Peter was trying to protect Jesus in the garden and he cut the soldier's ear off...the pastor asked "DID YOU EVER WONDER WHY HE CUT THE GUY'S EAR OFF?" ( I actually never gave it much thought really) the pastor said "he was probably aiming for his throat..but Peter was NOT a soldier and didn't know how to use his sword....he was a fisherman..and if you read the Bible you know he wasn't a very good fisherman either.
 "what'd you catch,Peter?" *pouty face* "nuthin" LOL

The Bible is NOT a paddle..and NOT a club...:)
we should not be legalistics, strict rule followers (Pharisees) or "anything goes" (Saducees)

and the one thing he said that really stuck with me
"a closed Bible is no better than NO Bible"

lol..it made me think about the healthy food I have in my home that I don't eat (out of laziness)..just having it in my house doesn't count...:P

We went back on Wednesday night..the kids were super excited to go...
of course as I was trying to get them ready to go..feeding them dinner and making the girls shower before church because I knew it'd be last when we got home..and the house was a super tornado and I just want to get out the door....
 Siler's nose started bleeding and Mike called the house to let me know his car battery was dead (we works 30 minutes away)....I felt a little bad but not really when I said "Sweetie, you are going to have to call AAA.I am not missing church! (it was the first night of the Bible study I am doing..in Genesis)

Got to church...the kids all go to different ends of the church :P holy moly
I FINALLY get to my class, a little late..the class is FULL!!!!
 there are two empty chairs...like the 3rd row right in the middle and the 2nd to last row in the middle of people...and these tables are close together so it's even harder than a movie theater to get through..lol..
so I squeeze myself in and I say "my husband might be coming" and the people in the back row are like "her husband may be coming" like with sincere concern in a nice way...
but the class staretd and because of the snow they were a week behind in their previous study so we to hear the last lesson on whatever study they had been doing..
 I texted Mike and said "Don't worry about coming" I didn't want him stressing about getting there late when we weren't even doing "our"  study.

but Gosh I wish he could have been there!!!! The last lesson was about the millineum...
.
I have heard the words "tribulation" "armageddon" and "millineum" but they didn't really mean anything to me....Armageddon was a movie with Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck...when I hear millineum, I think the biggest sale of the millineum....
and I discovered that YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE HERE FOR THE TRIBULATION!!! oh my gosh!!!
My eyes were opened..my heart was POUNDING out of my body....my eyes were as wide as they could get, my mouth was hanging open...I was..there are no words to describe what I was feeling...

The children..that was all I could think about...God, the children...I don't want children here during the tribulation!!!!!
Then I got to thinking what children already go through today and I won't go there with you all because you know how I get...

but the reality hit me..about Jesus and His Word, the Bible and how REAL it is..how CRAZY it is the prophesies and what has come true and I am not going to stand on the street corner holding a sign saying THE END IS NEAR..or anything like that (I don't think that is very effective) but I understand the desperation those people feel..and why they hold those signs...it is serious stuff!

I know I am going to heaven and I pray my children are going...I can't get them there..they have to make that decision on their own...but I pray pray pray that they make that choice..to believe, to trust, and to follow Jesus..it's not always easy but it's ALWAYS worth it...

I pray if you have not made that choice..that you will...it's not a joke...you don't want to be here for the 7 years of tribulation..you don't want your children to be here for the tribulation...if you have questions..you can e-mail me
 robbieniccum@charter.net
I will do my best to explain. :)
What they did show me in the Bible is "it will take an entire days' wages for one meal"
 food will be that scarce and hard to get...
ok, I am going to be quiet now :):) :) :)

...okay I have to say one more thing

I always wanted people to know Jesus..because of the GOOD he brings..It's Peaceful, Joyful,Hopeful, Good Stuff....but it's so much more than that now.

but I am still me..Ms Optimistic Zumba Mama..with LOTS of Love for YOU! and you and YOU :) :) :)

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Taught two classes today..I think they were AWESOME :)
Came home and napped..Thank you Michael for letting me. :)
I am getting ready to go get Alex from work...I am going to drive her car so she can drive home...
I need to return a LATE book to the library and WAAAAY Late DVDs to the Red Box....I will NOT tell you how long I have had the NetFlix DVD in our home but I WILL tell you that we never need to rent or borrow stuff...I know people tell me to make the specific day to do these errands and where to place them so they will get returned and all those great suggestions.....I am not mature enough or I guess have enough willpower, want to, organization...blah blah blah blah blah blah.
On a bright note...I'm smiling :) :) :)

xoxoxox

Celebrating Life...I haven't been able to read your blog for at LEAST two weeks...when I click on it , only your beautiful cake picture shows up and there is not a scroll down button for me....:( I hope eveything is going good over there. :)

February 18th...Friday Night...

I am sitting here waiting for my toenails to dry...I used a chocolate scrub a friend gave me and then painted them pink :) It's that time of the year that I am going to have to shop for a pair of sandals and they always look better with "pimped piggies" :P lol

so the church is awesome..
I took the kids to KIDZ NIGHT OUT last Friday night and when we pulled in the parking lot Zach yelled "THIS IS THE CHURCH I LOOOVE!"

well..that was nice..I sit down to blog for the first time in a long time and Siler got a hold of the nail polish I was just using and painted our comforter. Thank God it wasn't our new quilt..but it is bad.
UGH!
well, now I have lost that writing feeling. :/

Wishing, Hoping, and Praying for my Friends. :)

dentist-check
tripod drop off-check
Costco-check
ortho appt.-check
dropped Alex off at work

caught up with a friend via phone chat

almost made it into the meat market
and still have WalMart to do. :/
need to pick up Alex from work and get her to church..
excited for spring to come, or at least the snow to go away so Alex can practice driving again and get her license!

I better go pick up stuff..the girls will be home soon.

I want to start video blogging soooo much..I wish I was a natural techie.

:) it's Wednesday morning...it's going to be a busy day...
I got up at 4:30..messed around on the computer with zumba.com
went to the grocery store (laughed my hiney off at the v-day cards)
got the kids ready
getting ready to take Zachary to the dentist
have to go to Walmart, Costco, meat market
Alex has an ortho appt. before I take her to work

I AM NOT AN ADVOCATE FOR ENERGY DRINKS but if I was..I'd need one today :P

oh and somewhere in there I need to run by my work to drop off a tripod I borrowed MONTHS ago and maybe pick up a paycheck..

I did not get my DVD done in time for V-DAY like I hoped..well, I guess V-DAY is not here yet. :P

I better run..I wish my van was not on EMPTY so I could let it warm up before we go..but I am going to be praying as it is to get to the gas station that is one mile away. :/

I hope your day is fabulous and full of rest :) or productiveness :)

so here is what I know...

church today was AWESOME!
It was exactly where I needed and wanted to be..
I cannot wait until next Sunday!

Guess what the message was about? FAITH. Not joking.
Guess what his next series is on..
Spiritual Gifts...
NOT JOKING.

I was about to fall out of my chair with excitement.

There is a Bible Study starting on the 16th..on Genesis...I invited my husband to join me but I am going regardless..I am soooo excited that I have a family that I just haven't met yet...

and KNOW that the minute I feel like I am being disobedient or rebellious, I am OUT but guys, IT WAS AWESOME!!!! and when I picked my daughters up they were excited and want to go back...
SO! If my husband still wants to attend the other church...that is fine...we will be double church dippers...but I have found the church the kids and I want to attend.

I just took a spiritual gift survey..I have not done that in a while..
wanna see my scores?
25 is the highest you can get....

apostleship-5
administration-7
evangelism-8
prophesy and teaching-9
leadership-10
knowledge-11
discernment-12
sheperding-13
wisdom-17
giving-19

my highest ones were

service/helps-21
Mercy
Exhortation
Hospitality-all 22
and FAITH-24 :) :) :)

I try to not take that gift of faith for granted...there are so many times that I am thankful for it. it is my favorite gift and I want to keep sharing it with others. :)


so I really want to go to this other church. I am soooo drawn to it...Mike wants to go to a different one...and I know I know that people are going to say "wives submit to your husbands" but my husband (and I am saying this in the MOST respectful way..) is not leading us....he chose the church but we NEVER go and I am sorry..I am not being a snot...I don't feel it there....

here's what I know...I am getting the children ready and I am taking them to church today....if God convicts me while I am there I won't go back...but I really really really really have felt drawn there for a LOOONG time. This pastor speaks TRUTH unapologetically..but with love...

we'll see what happens.

well, I have danced around every subject I can think of to avoid the ONE subject that I want to avoid most. I am sorry I have been boring you to tears about ZUMBA..there really is more to my life :P LOL!!!

I believe in my heart that I passed a test yesterday...Not as dramatic as an Abraham and Isaac test...(if you don't know the story...God gave Abraham a son, Isaac, when Abraham was like 90??? and THEN for whatever reason..God asked Abraham to "sacrifice" Issac...I know this sounds crazy and ridiculous..I didn't write the book...all I know is Abraham listened and obeyed God..and as he was taking his son up the mountain to sacrifice him..God stopped him...God had seen Abraham's heart and was pleased.)...

yesterday I was subbing a class in the morning..it was very near my mom's house. as I was tinkling in the morning I thought "I should stop by my mom's and hug her" SAY WHAT?!?! (God that had to be you because I wouldn't think that!).....then when I got in my van to go sub I was like "yea, I am going to do it! I am going to stop in and hug my mom..I won't be able to stay because I will be super sweaty and Alex would be at home with the young ones..but I'll go."
I did the class (WHICH WAS AWESOME by the way,..I MIGHT come back to this) and I was still going to her house...
Sophia called...asked me if I could meet her somewhere and I tell her..I am coming to your house..she is like OK..no one is there...
WHAT????!!!!
I will stop there without getting into too much of my mom's personal life but yea..I thought she would be there

I am not sad that she wasn't.
I am just glad that I was, at least, willing.

this will probably forever be one of my favorites :)

real fast

oh my gosh..I posted my blog and then went to read yours and I CANNOT believe that the first one on my list is from Heavenly Homemakers "How to make Tator Tots"!!!!!!!
I was craving them...bought some cheap ones with sooo many ingredients I was like OOOOHHHH my gosh but I don't do it often so I was like WHATEVER...but last night I told the kids I would Google a homemade recipe and IT CAME TO ME!!! YAY HEAVENLY HOMEMAKER!!! :) :) :)
(now I just have to read the recipe and make them :P)

I cannot believe how much drama there can be in ZUMBA.
Zumba??? really??? I wish I could talk about it on here but God forbid someone come across my blog from the ZUMBA world..:P

I can tell you things at the skating rink are looking super great. I cannot wait for there to be a line of people to come in...I cannot wait until my boss has, at least, broke even with the ZUMBA income and then my class becomes really profitable for them...
a group of dental assistants has found me :) They get off work at 4:30 and my class starts at 5...they are so excited to be able to come on over and get their workout over with and have the rest of the night ahead of them.. :)YAY!!!
I went on another ZUMBA interview last Thursday. I feel it went well. She just e-mailed me the application this morning..I hope my printer is working...the class is in the most beautiful facility that I have seen in my life.
It's also next door to my favorite grocery store WHOLE FOODS. It will give me the will power to stop in there once a week, after class. YAY!!! I shouldn't cheer yet..I haven't been offered the job yet..but I am hopeful.
I started at the gym this last Saturday..I went from one class at a dance studio..dried off on the way to the gym...it was interesting. I had to use a wireless microphone and it was a little screechy but other than that...I believe my class enjoyed themselves.
I also started a private couple job..Sunday morning at 7am. I did it yesterday and they want me back so I guess that went well also. :)

so as of right now (before I get word about this other job I really want)..I teach Tue and Thur evening..two on Sat morning and one Sunday morning. I am subbing this Thursday morning and next Monday night.
That is a lot of ZUMBA. :)
Somewhere in there I need to get the next DVD recorded..I wanted it in your hands by Valentines Day. :)

Today..all of my children, except Sophia, have school. Sophia is spending the day with me. I have errands to run but I don't know exactly what we are doing. I am sure we will go tan but other than that? Right now I am thinking NAP. :P lol

I hope you have a wonderful day...at the rate I am going, I might not see you again until next Monday :)

I had a dream last night that I was present for a well drilling. It was so amazing to see fresh water flowing from the ground for those that desperately needed it.

I had a conversation this morning with a sister/mom of mine...the one I visited in Dallas...she is the Director of a Humanity for Life center..it is amazing to see the work she is doing...she would say the work God is doing through her..and I would have to agree. :)

She asked me how she could pray for me today..I said "I don't know..I just don't know"

I started typing "That I would rest in God's love and be okay with not having any answers"
and as I pressed SEND she said "okay..I will pray that you will peacefully listen" :):):)

yes, what she said.

that I will BE QUIET for a minute and LISTEN

I then got my coffee and my Bible and ended up in JONAH...
and read and reread and reread Jonah 2:7-9

and I am good.

There are so many things that float through my head about Mike, Me, Sophia, Alex, my mom...etc.
but I have , once again, found peace. I hope it lasts for a while...

okay...feeling better...
I went to a ZUMBA class..
I talked with a girlfriend afterwards..
The boys have school tomorrow (weather permitting) and I have a massage scheduled...
after that I am going to tan..
I hope I don't sound shallow..
I am just feeling like spoiling myself for now...

I am having some ZUMBA issues that I don't feel like typing about right this second...
I need some marketing pointers. I think I took a marketing class in highschool..I wish I would have paid attention. :P

I am pretty sure I could not be more HO HUM than right now...I hope it is just because I am tired and I am able to snap out of it QUICK.

well,  it's 3am (and as Matchbox 20 sings..I must be lonely :P) LOL

at least I am getting ready to go to sleep and not waking up at this time :P

I got my hair highlighted today..RED. yes, red highlights and I LOOOOVE them :D

I was hoping to take a fabulous picture to show you tomorrow and I might still try but I might hide my eyes because I literally feel the bags forming ;p lol

okie dokie..I better get to bed...

LOTS OF LOVE
Mamacita <3

it's Friday.
the waffles were pretty good.
Mike got so into making them, he ran to the local store to buy more buttermilk so we could make another batch. Then, Siler pooped a nasty, need to get in tht tub, diaper so Mike was manning both waffle makers...(we borrowed one from the neighbor to make it go faster)....
Mike and I went out yesterday...to Costco and WalMart. : )
we bought ginormous amounts of all purpose unbleached flour and canola nonstick spray...I should have got that big thing of yeast..I only have two little envelopes...he really liked the bread I made. and it was EEEEASY!!!!
at WalMart, we purchased the young girls something that has to do with knitting..they wanted needles but we already bought them needles and it's really hard for them...so we got them a book and 4 round "looms" I think is what they are called??? the box is downstairs and I am super comfy right here. :)

the snow. yuk.
I was reading a friend's blog today and she mentioned how she loves bundling her children up for the snow. I wonder if her kids stay out longer than 5 minutes..I am assuming they do or she would just have to join my club of friends that don't love bundling our children for 5 minutes of play and baskets of laundry afterward. :P
(love you Sandy!)

yesterday I was keeping my kids busy so they wouldn't ask to play outside..LOL!!! then I was feeding them lunch and the neighbor texted they were heading out and challenged us to a snowball fight...I suddenly got interested in the snow....I did get the four young ones ready in record time....I personally do not have snow "gear" but I went out and met the neighbors. We were out there less than 10 minutes for sure. Their daughter was ready to go home as soon as she got here and Zach went inside, stripped, and got back to his LEGO STAR WARS on Wii, leaving his friend outside..so the neighbors left (I did invite them in for cocoa!) but I am sure they had their own laundry basket to fill of wet laundry ;p LOL!!!

The kids don't have school again today.
I am going to look up the hours for the tanning bed..I would like to run and tan first thing this morning...just for ME. I do NOT do it often but I would like to do it a little...

I don't know that Sophia is going to end up moving back in...
at this time it doesn't look that way.
but anything is possible.

(she and Alex are already "at it"...I do NOT miss "those" days :P) lol

I am going to get my hair highlighted tomorrow..I really hope it turns out FABULOUS!

I took Zach and Siler to get their haircut today at Sophia's school. They are so handsome :)
We also went to lunch with her..that was fun.
now I am home with BioFreeze on my neck...I overstretched it trying to pull my extra long an out of the parking spot at GAMESTOP where I took the boys after the haircuts because that is how I bribed them to sit still...AWFUL I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!
but now Zach is contently playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii and I am happy..so IT IS WHAT IT IS :P

I am actually LOVING having my days off...

well, I got on here to answer someone's question so I better go and I am going to try homemade waffles here in a little bit so I'll let you know how they turn out..I have been soaking the flour since yesterday..I hope it's okay!

There is a lot going on..behind the scenes over here....
Sophia is back in my life...and I really don't even need to say anymore.
I don't mean that in a mean way...
it's just when she is in my life..she brings my mom with her..

I am not going to try to explain what is going through my head right now.

so anyway...
Zach and Siler have dentist appts today :) Siler's FIRST!

I have Zumba tonight....trying to learn 2 new routines by tonight. no pressure.. :P

oh my gosh..I went to training Saturday and learned so much..I am beyond embarrassed about the DVDs I have mailed out...they will make me laugh really hard someday unless you all respect my wishes and dispose of them when you get new ones :P oh well, I was just learning..LOL!!!!

I made rice for breakfast...adding maple syrup, whipping cream and butter. MMMMM MMMMM!!!!
NUMMMMY!

I am praying that Sophia is able to move in..I know it will take humbling on her part..forgiveness on her Daddy's part and patience for all. but God is Able to do ALL THINGS...

I better get on with my day..I will talk to you soon.

Alex's boyfriend told me I am the happiest person he knows...

I guess in the grand scheme of things..I am a happy person. who knew? LOL!!!!!

We ended up super chilling yesterday and then we invited some neighbors over for pizza and wine.
It was a great time...

I went to the grocery store today..I don't know that I bought anything for "meals"...

I made a loaf of bread last night..I would LOOOOVE a bread slicer! actually I am going to go GOOGLE one right now. :D

Feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know it will pass. I was gone all day yesterday and Mike did a load of laundry (all the way..like wash,dry,fold, and put away)...he's a better domestic person than me. :P

I watched Cloudy with a chance of meatballs this morning with Siler and the other kids woke up and decided to have an ENCORE...so I am letting them chill and watch it but as soon as it's over they are doing the basket race..boys against girls...the downstairs is filled with their "stuff"...tarn, watches, bracelets, pillows, clothes, toys...UGH!

I have a call in to the massage place..I have been putting it off long enough....I joined a yearly deal and I haven't been since ??? September??? yea, I need to catch up...I have paid for them!

okay..I am going to go..I don't know what today holds..but I am hoping for some good stuff :):):)

Just realized there is no school tomorrow :) :) :) YAY!!!! : ) :) :) I looooove no school! :) :) :)

e-mails, blogs, usernames oh my

I had a "charter" e-mail...
I switched to "g-mail"
My blog is linked to CHARTER
but back when I created a "secret blog" I used my g-mail account
so now that I am using GMAIL instead of CHARTER..I was blogging on a separate blog that you all were not getting....LOL!!! but I didn't even realize it because I just hit NEW POST and don't usually VIEW BLOG..but last night I went to VIEW BLOG and it was all black with no music, no links and 4 posts..I was like WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BLOG????? lol

sooooooooo, now I don't know what I am going to do...I guess I will just have to log into the CHARTER acct if I want to blog :P or I can just start alllllll over again..I dislike all this"changing technology" stuff!

but to update you on what I had been telling you..I had an audition and I got the job :)

I am sure there was much more than that but my head is experiencing a pounding headache and I have been gone ALL day with ZUMBA training...I learned belly dancing, the tango, flamenco, and the samba....and you are like..OOOOKKKKKKK..I know, me too....it was a LOT of info to take in for one day which is probably why my head hurts. :p

See you all soon as long as I log into the correct blog :P LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

I don't know what I did. Well, actually I kind of do..but I ...it's a loooooong story.

I better start the coffee

well it is one of those 3am days...UGH PMS UGH! My eyes are burning I am ready for a nap and it's 7:21am...I need to wake children and stuff.
ZUMBA might be a little rough tonight but at least I know I (oh shoot! I WAS going to say I am off Friday but that is my audition  day!) well, shoot.

Prayerfully..I will get the girls to school and settle in for a movie for the boys and I will sleep..Sounds awful but I get this, it seems once a month when I wake up and CANNOT fall back asleep..

I did get my office...ummm, picked up and maybe manageable? lol

oh my gosh I want to sleep!

OH! I did do research on Zumba shoes...well, I looked up CHEER shoes because basically I jump and dance..and FUNNY stuff..the exact shoes I bought Alex for Christmas are the shoes I need. :P I had looked at the bottom of her shoes and thought HMMMM....and then she had ZUMBAed in them and liked them so I don't know why I didn't think to get some myself ;P (I guess because I got them for Her...lol)

oh my goodness...well, WORST CASE scenario...Alex gets home at 3 and I leave at 3:45ish to pick up girls before Zumba so I can get a little nap before dancing..but I hope for much more than that. :)

wishy me luck :P

7:26 Wednesday evening

Imagine yourself PMSing
Imagine boys wrestling
Older sisters yelling "STOP!"
One asking if she can order a book off Amazon
Another asking if she can have hot chocolate
and then your husband singing "desperado" every once in a while.
I am looking for grateful moments
Healthy children ...healthy children healthy children

I'm baaaaack

The kids are watching Baby Genius...I just threw some granola in the oven...the movie and granola should be done at the same time and then it will be time to pick Alex up from work. :)

okay...so I left off at purging...last night I was trying to watch Biggest Loser and the phone kept ringing from teh Charity...I would answer and no one was there...I answered pleasantly MANY times...it would ring like every 5 minutes...FINALLY I answered Super Grumpy and someone was there. :/  I asked "Am I on AUTO DIAL because ya'll KEEP calling me! :)" and she was like "uh uh I just need to know if your donation will be on the porch or driveway and we won't call again tonight"

so after that...and you have to know I have been looking forward to them coming since the dumpster ordeal..I have had the stuff in the front dining room.... I leave for ZUMBA this morning and I FORGOT to put it out!!!! AAAUUUGGGHHHHH! I was debating whether or not to turn around but I didn't want to chance being late ;P so I prayed "GOD PLEEEEEASE DELAY THE GUYS SO I AN PUT  MY STUFF OUT?" you have to know that the guys ALWAYS come early....
when I got home, they had not come and I happily put my stuff out :) I even did a once more through the younger ones closets and came up with one more brown grocery bag full :P

it's better than drugs..hands down. :)

ZUMBA..I have an audition Friday afternoon at a club...I am VERY VERY excited :)
My Monday class has been cancelled and my Wednesday class is very endangered because of lack of attendence. I am not worried about either of them....I just know that a few girls have told me NOOOOO! I was JUST getting ready to get back into it!!!!!! well, we'll see what happens. :)

I am searching for the right Zumba shoes. I have been wearing Rocket Dogs which have ZERO support but they have ZERO tread on the bottom so they slide really easy....but my back, neck and shoulders hurt and my friend thinks it has everything to do with my feet....I started wearing crosstraining shoes but those hurt me today....why must it be so difficult to take care of our bodies???? I think of the Africans who do those extreme dances barefoot...do you think their backs hurt? Are they unaware? or are we just big babies? lol

Mike has taken up a new hobby...extreme weather bike riding....he loves going in the snow...the dry snow, of course. :)

I probably have 100 pictures to share by now..I am going to try to remember how to make that album and link to it...I SOOOOOO dislike that type of stuff...I am having trouble breathing thinking about it and no I am not being silly or dramatic..I wish I had a personal assistant for that type of stuff. :)

I am not liking my office where it is..it's too cramped..I am not organized enough to be confined to such a small space...I don't know if I want to move to the cold basement or if I want to try harder to be organized.
I do know that I don't want to be on the computer as much as I normally am.
(which is why my posts are less and less)

As always I am thinking and praying for my friends going through super rough patches in their lives...I know that everything works out one way or another...ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THOSE THAT LOVE THE LORD. :)

XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO

okay I don't have long because my girls are on their way home.
and the boys are making some really loud noises upstairs but I want to talk to you so praying they are okay :)

I have no idea what I have or have not said to you and I don't feel like going back to see so if some of this is repeat.I apologize in advance.

Personal....I am working on HOPE...and worrying ONLY about MY actions

Financially...uuummmm....we'll come back to this later :P

Cooking? Eh. I am still trying? and am soo thankful it's Wednesday :) Little Caesars Pizza Night :)
I have been flipping through my Heavenly Homemaker Cookbooks...I made meatballs yesterday...FAIL for the family..UGH! (then we ended up going to MCDONALDS last night!*GASP!* I KNOW!!!!) I have not taken the children to McDs or ate it myself in FOREVER! Man, my stomach was GUUUUURGLING!
ok, like the finances...we'll come back to cooking at another time too.

Purging :) :) :)*DING DING DING!* I looove this subject :P lol...Doing good...they came today!

Girls are here I am out of time....I will be back

I know I know!!! It's been a while..but I have to go switch the laundry before I decide to settle in and write a lot...be back :)

Need I say more?

Photography by Amelia

It's snowing
I am watching the SCHOOL CLOSINGS

Is it against CHILD LABOR LAWS to have my children help me move my office from the upstairs to the basement???

Sunday Post 2

wow it's 7am and I am back already :P

My little "I might be lazy" speech has lit a fire under my fanny...

Dishes, Laundry, WHATEVER..Here I come! :D

I have come to the conclusion that I am , in fact, lazy.
People always say to me "you cannot be lazy with 6 children" and they have not been saying that because I have been claiming to be lazy...I have been making excuses for "why my house this" and "why my car that"and have said "I AM NOT LAZY".
I could, MAYBE, be more overwhelmed than lazy MAAAYBE

the other thing I am is a "time waster"...which MAYBE goes hand in hand with the lazy thing.

hmmm...now that I am superpsychoanalyzing myself...

I think it is just that my priority lies with SOCIALIZING! I LOOOOVE TO SOCIALIZE!
I moved my laptop to the basement so that I would not be on it as much...I got a lot done in those days that it was down there (it is now on the main level and needs to either go back upstairs or down) I am so spoiled that I wish I had a computer upstairs AND down...(hey, at least I didn't say on all three levels :P)

I have been purging my closet AGAIN...I have clothes in there that even though I don't have a lot of clothes..I do not wear some of them...I put them on and feel uncomfortable for one reason or another...I think I honestly have 2 shirts that I feel okay in...(you are supposed to feel like a million bucks when you dress) :)

I had this wardrobe once. It was spring/summer...
I was a size 6.
it was a pair of black capris and khaki capris and denim shorts
a black cami and a white cami
a white button down short sleeve, a purple button down, and a french blue button down
I guess I had a pair of "slacks" because I wouldn't have worn the blue shirt with capris

anyway...that was my wardrobe...and I would mix and match and still loved getting dressed everyday.

I want that "type" of wardrobe again.I don't know where to go though...
I am always wanting to save $$$ so I go to the consignment store
well, I get home and end up not liking what I ended up with a couple weeks later
I had purchased long sleeve button downs...they were too short...like if I wanted to layer something over them..the bottom would not lay right

well, could I bore you more with THIS convo??? lol

Today we are taking our children for their first roller skating lessons.

we are also going to a GOING AWAY party. :(

I haven't felt good the past couple days...(my same story..I think I am tired and I have been eating really REALLY bad)

Praying I overcome this "WHATEVER IT IS" laziness, overwhelmness, blah blah blahblah.

I have a couple girlfriends going through some pretty rotten situations....I sincerely wish I knew what to say or do.

I wish people could just be nice to each other.

It is so weird to think of my friends that are actually in Heaven...
Last night as we were celebrating Gretchen's life...she is in Heaven...
They opened the microphone for people to speak..I couldn't. I would have been tongue tied..she knows what she meant to me :D
Zachary likes the name Crystal.  He thinks it is very pretty. Just something random I found out about him on a car ride. :)

church tonight.
I hope I can stay awake this time...I totally fell asleep last week. :(

Friday

I cannot believe I haven't been here since TUESDAY!

what to say?

I know there have been 5 million ish things that have happened that I am like "I gotta tell my blog peeps" but now that I am physically sitting here I can't remember.

Alex is watching CIty of Angels right now..I have never seen it...

I am getting ready to go a Celebration of Life service for my friend, Gretchen that I was telling you about.

I have an audition Tuesday for that Gym Zumba job...

The skating rink has cancelled one of my classes...they were going to cancel both of my morning classes but I requested more time for the Wednesday class because I KNOW people are going to start coming...

I have so much more to say now that I have started talking but the girls are home and I have to leave..be back.

ok...Zumba was AWESOME! :)

and I just got an e-mail about possibly working at a gym :D How exciting! If it works out :D and even if it doesn't..how fun just being employable :P lol

I better get to bed..I have Zumba at 10am :P

Have I mentioned how excited I am about 2011?

ok, that didn't take long..I love bedding :P except I didn't actually put the bedding back on the bed yet..I wanted to continue talking to you :P

I got an estimate for painting all of our cabinets...
I know this is the year to save , not spend..but I am going to "TRY" to save my Zumba checks and pay for this...it will increase our home value because our cabinets are not awesome...but they can be :)

phone ringing..be back later :P

it's 1:55 and I don't have anything mind blowing to tell you today :P
I have done an enormous amount of laundry already today (well, 3 different bedding to start)
I have scheduled YET ANOTHER donation pick up on the 12th...hopefully the LAST for a while
the dumpster is getting picked up tomorrow so last minute stuff needs to get thrown in (paint cans and maybe a couple more computer towers)

the dryer buzzed..I will be back soon..or maybe later? :P

Talk about encouraging

This letter came from Gretchen's husband

Dear Loved One,

Several weeks ago in the midst of her illness, Gretchen had a brief but very vivid dream. In it she was standing on the edge of a dance floor. Jesus walked over to her and extended his hand. She put hers in his and he led her onto the dance floor. One more step and they were in glory - together. Gretchen looked around at the beauty of it all, in rapt wonder. Then Jesus asked her, "Do you want to stay?" She immediately blurted out "Yes!" Then she caught herself and sheepishly added, "But not right now." Jesus nodded with a smile and simply escorted her back to the edge of the dance floor.  She recalled the dream to me with such amazement at how easy and natural it is to "step into eternity."

Well, at about nine this morning, she quietly and confidently took that step again, but this time for real. She stepped out of this world, now shrunk for her to the size of a queen-size bed, made special by all the love and goodness brought and mailed in to her by loving friends and family.  She walked into a world filled with colors and sounds so glorious it will take "ages" to explore them all. Even better, she was accompanied by the one Person who loves her more than I do. After all I have only known her 44 years, whereas He has known her at least 63, some might say, "since eternity past."

Strangely, I am not jealous, but joyous, for her and Him. I know that grief will come, but at least for now our sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren who celebrated a happy Christmas with us, are still here, and we are still wrapped in her love. When we get it scheduled, we will invite you to join us for a Celebration of her Beautiful Life. Meanwhile, thank you for doing so much to make these last six months more sweet than bitter.

We love you,

Dave and Gretchen Claybrook

weirdish day

Started off great! Did some laundry..some grocery shopping...assembled a couple super cheesy goopy casseroles...one for us, one for a friend...had people over for lunch..fun fun fun

and then...during our conversation...I was told a dear lady passed away this morning...I had started a blog about the 365 people that influenced my life...I only got to number 3 because there aren't a lot of things that truly SHAPED me..if that makes sense...
1. the man that molested me
2. the lady that practically raised me, Mrs. Crum
3. the lady that told me that God has a plan for my life and is NOT letting me go...

#3 is Gretchen Claybrook..
I pray for her husband and children and grandchildren and her best friend Margie..

after hearing the news...I continued visiting with my friends..not really being able to process what has happened...

my friends left and I called my Dad..it's his birthday...
I had been e-mailing him every once in a while, suggesting that he and his wife come visit for a weekend..
I didn't think much about the fact that he wasn't replying...we all get busy..
when I called him, he informed me that his wife, my step mom...has cancer...on her brain-stem?
She is undergoing chemo and radiation? I don't know if those are two separate things???
He said he has been putting off calling me because he didn't know how to tell me and didn't want to burden me... I told him, I can PRAY!

My Dad is such a good man..he loves his wife soooo much...he told me he is taking care of her 24/7...
I told Alex the news and she said she was JUST thinking about them Friday...it would be great is Alex and I could go visit for a couple days...
I don't know if it is at all possible..but we'll see

oh and on a happier note....I kid you not...remember my wish list that I wrote a couple days ago??? The knife magnet? When I went grocery shopping today, I took Mike's car..when I was unloading I found a Target bag with a knife magnet and a USB calculator to plug into my laptop for paying bills...
Mike had forgot he got them for me for Christmas. :)

First want checked off my list and an additional one that I had not even mentioned to ya'll :) This is going to be fun to watch :)

HUGS and PRAYERS to YOU and if you would..please pray for healing for Terry Sullivan's cancer and pray for the Claybrook family and friends :) Peace, Love, Joy, and Strength .

LOL!

I went to Kohl's this morning...all by myself...with $40 Kohl's cash to spend...
I tried on LOTS of clothes....LOTS!
I did find this one ADORABLE black jacket with silver buttons that I LOVED but I didn't know how much I would realistically get to wear it so I left it..
After browsing the store for TWO HOURS..looking at clothes, jewelry, house decorating stuff, bedding and who knows what else..
I left with a Food Network knife... a little grey robe with a cream fur hoodie, and a new wish list for the new year..

The knife reminded me that I want one of those magnetic strips to screw into the wall above the counters for my knives
I saw this pedicure thingy that reminded me I would love to have one of those foot roller things for my over worked achy feet
that reminded me that I would love to have one of those "S" bars to push into my tense muscles
Mike's mom made us a beautiful quilt for Christmas..I would love to get a bedskirt to match.

BUT!!!! I have to start "SAVING" and quit SPENDING so much so ...I will trust that when the time is right...the desires of my heart will be met :)

I am actually excited about the knife :) I had bought one not too long ago (A food network one) but it's a little too short for cutting oranges (which I cut a LOT!)

and the robe..I have been wanting something cozy for a while...so I guess all in all, I did good. :)

So Long 2010 :)

it's 11:21
I don't want to stay awake anymore :P
but we are meeting the neighbors in the street for a toast of champaign at midnight
and the kids want to beat the pots and pans :)

I don't know where my calendar is to look back over the year...
the calendar that is currently being used only goes back to July...

off the top of my head
our basement wall caved in and God provided
I got to go on a weekend getaway with a friend to Memphis
Sophia moved out
I became a ZUMBA instructor
we took an AWESOME week long vacation and got to see LOTS of fabulous friends
I got to take ANOTHER fabulous getaway to a girlfriend's in Fort Worth

there's MY personal recap

Mike changed jobs (twice)
Alex turned 16 and is working on getting her license
Samantha broke her arm on the last day of school :( but she started 3rd grade and had a new friend movein next door. :)
Mia started 2nd grade and also had a friend move in next door.
Zach started PRE-K..he is doing great!!!!
Siler also started preK with his big brother..and has started talking, A LOT!

the latest adventure....the dumpster

we filled it..completely.
I didn't know if I should feel ashamed or excited..
Ashamed that we even ad enough stuff to fill it
Excited that the STUFF is out of my house.

I got up this morning and tackled the garage..
it's much better
not completely finished...

it's 11:30
we are all sooooo tired..
I just told the kids to clean their rooms to start the New Year with clean rooms :P
They are exchausted and getting VERY slap happy!!!

Resolutions for this year

Have friends over more often..dinner parties, bon fires..whatever!!!
Mike wants to fish (trout, fly, whatever! ;p), bike more, skeet shoot...

I want to cook. (I WANT TO LIKE TO PREPARE MEALS! lol)
I want to FOLLOW a budget
I don't have a lot of personal goals this year...
be the best Zumba instructor I can be

I think I am going to take back what I just said
I ALWAYS have a lot of personal goals..lol
I am just not going to share all of then at this time...

11:36..I am fading fast...

Lord willing...I have goals for my 40th and 50th years..
I would like to run a marathon when I am 40
and when I am 50 (Zach and Siler will be 18 and 16) I would like to take the family to New York City for New Year's Eve.

The continuing education catalog came and they had a Play the piano in ONE DAY and Play the guitar in ONE DAY..that I would like to take..but we'll see

I also want to get my Personal and Group Training Certifications...I don't know if I am shooting for that this year or next...

Above all I want to do what Matthew 6:33 says "SEEK GOD FIRST" and everything else comes after :)

so there you have it...my goals and bucket list all in one :)

It's 10:00 :)
I just finished playing JUST DANCE 2 on the Wii with Sam and Mia :)
Sooo fun! :)

:) Happy New Year's Eve :)

I will be back to write a novel later today :)

Yesterday was "something" :P

I taught in the morning...had three people...TOTALLY FORGOT A PORTION OF A SONG! There were two girls that were regulars that just laughed and a brand new girl that I begged to not judge me by this first experience :P At the end of class she was smiling super big and said she feels she learned new dance moves to take to the club...*whew!* :P lol

I am in the process of coming up with the next playlist for the next DVD to get sent out...this one will be higher intensity than the last one but will give a good variation for how you are feeling that day :) Light and airy or let's kick some booty :) I am hoping to send it out for Valentine's Day :)

We went to buy an air hockey table from Craigslist last night...we left without it...it was falling apart :/ so the search is still on for one.

on the way home....Mike backed into another vehicle. :( so we will be waiting to hear the damage on that.

Life is still good. :) I am glad to be on "this side"

I am not trying to talk "holier than thou" when I say this....but NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER....is what I know...

and God loves me...no matter what people say about me, think about me, no matter what I HAVE or have NOT done....and THAT makes life Great :)

(((((BEAR HUGS))))) to you , my friend! I appreciate the love and support I receive from you. :) :) :) :)

Banana Muffins

This is the 3rd or 4th time I have made these this month. :P they are sooo easy and sooo delicious!!!

mix these together and set aside
1 and 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

and then mix these together
3 bananas, mashed
3/4 cup sugar ( I just use white..I am thinking about trying the SUGAR in the RAW..I don't know that it would make a difference)
1 egg
and 1/3 cup butter, melted ( I didn't have any butter today so I used coconut oil....they taste fabulous either way)

fold the flour mixture into the banana mixture and scoop into your muffin liners :)

25-30 minutes for large muffins
10-15 for small

25 is always plenty of time for mine

if you know me, you know I do NOT like to be in the kitchen or cooking..but mygosh these are YUMMY!!!
( I am eating one while I type ;p)

and I do wait for my bananas to turn BLACK...that might be the Top Secret to such delicious muffins. :D

Home from Zumba..
had a one hour conversation with a beautiful lady
it brought me to a question..

The last thing I said to my husband this morning was "I am only responsible for my own actions."

but now I am asking myself "WHAT ARE MY MOTIVES?"

ok...mentally I am feeling a lot better..a LOT A LOT A LOT!!! Sorry I chose to drag you through that with me :P'

Physically..I am S O R E...girls..the practice I have put in...and the class I did last night (my hair was shower wet!!!!)
the loads of heavy bags into the dumpster
the big load of firewood
running  through the BOUNCE AROUND last night with Siler (yesterday was Siler's birthday!!)

oh my gosh my body is like YYYYOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH! lol

Alex watched SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION for the first time yesterday..I didn't have time to watch the whole thing with her but I caught maybe the last 30 minutes??? Such a great movie...

I need to get off here and start some coffee, shower, get ready for class this morning....and then the only thing I know for sure is I have to play a card game with Sam today after ZUMBA..she asked me last night but I was exhausted from all the dancing and I had a headache from &^%&^%&..

Dance
Cards
Mike is going bike riding

that is all I know for today :D

Have a blessed day! :)

RELENTLESS

I felt the need to come back and give God more glory than I gave Him credit for earlier.

I was embarrassed in the first place to blog such personal stuff...fear of being judged...and looking so weak...
but I am not one to lie...
and though not all people share as much as I do (or even have close to the amount of emotions or drama filled lives :P lol)
I am one that shares feelings...and to not share..I feel like I am being "fake" and being "fake" makes me feel like I am "lying"

ok, so there is why I shared such deep feelings...

BUT!!! God came through for me! and I didn't even ask!
It's CRAZY that Joyce sent me a Thank you gift when I am not even a partner!
It's CRAZY that it told me to NEVER GIVE UP when my insides were telling me to GIVE UP..

I called my bestie (momsgonegodly) who reassured me (once again) that I am okay..and as I am telling her about the Joyce gift..I opened it and there was a bracelet inside....
it says RELENTLESS on one side and NEVER GIVE UP on the other...
and it's MY color!!!

people have NO IDEA who they are dancing with when they ZUMBA with me...
From far away...my bracelets look ALL ZUMBA ISH
no sisters..
FREEDOM = from human trafficking
ONE MORE= for always searching for ONE MORE that needs Jesus
and now NEVER GIVE UP..RELENTLESS...God's promise that HE NEVER LETS ME DOWN!

Thank you God! Thank you God! Thank you God! :)

I am going to hold my head up

I am going to continue doing the laundry and dishes and clean the kitchen...

I will beat this feeling.

I have to pay bills...the bank called and said our debit card has been compromised (AGAIN!)
I am going to go back to the cash under the mattress and money orders if it happens a 3rd time :P LOL

I am smiling...see :) I am going to be just fine :) :) :)

I hope I am just tired and not sick.
My body hurts.
Honestly..I think I am just severely depressed.
I have been fighting it for DAYS.
I walk around angry because I am so sad and I cannot tell Mike.
He wouldn't understand.
He truly does not understand depression.
Then I get angry because God is amazing and I have so many reasons to be JOYFUL and HOPEFUL and I hate when this depressed feeling is "winning"

If I told people that I was suicidal..they would not believe me.
I am not going to do anything...
but I do have thoughts.
They come and go, really quick.
I hear words from my mother and sister and they keep going on and on and on in my head
Add words from Sophia and they replay on and on..
I am so tired...
I just want rest.

I know that is where Jesus comes in..
he says COME TO ME YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.
I need His rest.

I was switching laundry and Zachary brought me a package from the mail..
Joyve Meyer sent me a free DON'T GIVE UP lesson...DVDs and a workbook and book.
It was a THANK YOU for support this year..
I was surprised..because, yes, I send her support, but I am not a "PARTNER" like with a monthly commitment...
I guess it came in due time
God needs me to NOT GIVE UP because He has a huge plan for my life and it's not about me, it's about Him.

but that doesn't mean that I have to sit and be a doormat and let people treat me like crap and just act like nothing happened..
or maybe it does.

we'll see.

Just unloaded a big load of wood from the van...Mike's dad had it for us Christmas day.
Made a HUGE dent in the basement yesterday! oh my gosh the stuff we threw away!
I will take pictures soon...
the kids have a library and an art studio
I don't know if we have fully decided on getting an air hockey table or not...
we have a foosball table..
I have an area to scrapbook.
and the storage area..is awesome!

the only thing I am not sure about are the older pics I have framed...I OBVIOUSLY do not want  to get rid of them..but I don't want to store them either...I guess I will take them out of the frames and scrapbook them...and maybe reuse the frames? I don't know.

It is really really time to get family pictures!!!

well, I need a shower..I was practicing this morning and now I am sweaty..

I have a TODO list in my mind, as always..but my husband is getting ready to go bike riding so I will PAUSE my brain for a while..and make my list :D

XOXOXOXXOXO
Have a fantabulous day!

............

I should not have worn the "skinny"jeans.
I should have worn maternity jeans.
or maybe I just should not have made the food choices I made. :P
A hot dog from QT on the way to Christmas.
A small piece of mint cake/pie?
A piece of chocolate
Some kind of candied pear?
A date with a nut in it?
and then like 6 cookies on the way home

in my dumb dumb voice "I DON'T KNOW WHY MY TUMMY IS BLOATED" :P

I think I might have one more cookie, go to bed, and start new in the a.m. :D

My Alex was crying in her bathroom this morning because of the "fighting" between our families...
but we AREN'T fighting

*rolling my eyes*

I feel bad for her, I do. but I am sooo frustrated that she can't understand that I put up with it for as many years as I could...
next year she will have a car and she can go visit if she chooses.

LOL...yea, we did NOT go to the basement. :P
Mike had a fire going all day.
The kids did play.
I think I may have made a mistake with the my Christmas present.
I asked for something to convert our family VHS tapes to DVDs
we put in Sophia's 1st birthday home video
I had a lump in my heart the whole time..
and not just because she's gone now...

I don't think I want to revisit the past.

well...shoot.

I guess I am just going to have to get a really great EDIT software and only capture highlights..

I thought it was going to be as easy as pressing PLAY at night before going to bed and then burning a DVD the next morning. :P I am so funny.: )

I am off to make more yummy coffee from my fabulous friend...

Merry Christmas to you. :)
Unto us was born this day, in the city of David, a savior..Jesus. :) :) :)
YAY!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!! :) :) :)

The dumpster arrived yesterday :) :) :) (with a bonus sanitary napkin stuck to the bottom, unused :P)
I have not touched the garage or finished the basement but it's only been a day...I had to teach a class last night, meaning I had to stop and shower and didn't get back into it when I got home.

Mike and I got to go Christmas shopping last night..we took Siler since he doesn't FULLY understand what is going on and he wouldn't tell people their gifts :) Sam, Mia, and Zach stayed with Alex.

I have totally not been focusing on Jesus , the reason for the season..

I mean, yes, I talk to him daily...somewhat get into His Words, the Bible..watch Joyce Meyer so I can hear truth..
but the actual sitting down and reaffirming what He did...humbling himself to come as a lowly human, to serve and to save us...
I cannot fathom how it felt to Mary...a virgin, giving BIRTH...in a STABLE!
I cannot imagine the celebration of visible angels and the beautiful star..

It's so weird that we hear stories about it..but it REALLY happened.

We have never read the Christmas Story from the Bible at Christmas time...
I think we might start today.
(before we open presents or I will not get anybody's attention :P)
I should probably read it from Zach's Bible :D

other than that....after children open their presents this morning...Mike and I are heading to the basement to throw his stuff away :) I hope the children's gifts keep them busy :) :) :)

tomorrow we visit his family...stress free. :)

Sunday...FREE DAY!!!!

Merry Chistmas my sweet friends....I love you a lot. :) :) :) and I hope you are having a blast with your loved ones, be it family or friends :) :) :)

this booty shot was made just for MOMSGONEGODLY..
oh my gosh, that girl turns me SILLY!

If you only knew how uncomfortable I used to be with a camera around...
but MOMSGONEGODLY requested pics and I don't give up many chances to be silly these days :P

Striking a pose :P

my super cute new black shoes :P

the back of my new watch

my watch that makes me feel so pretty :)

My precious son that was watching his Mama feel like a pretty pretty princess :D He decided to "dress up" too :)

I ordered a dumpster.
it's being delivered tomorrow
What could I possible have to get rid of THIS time?
3rd dumpster has to be the charm! :P

The first dumpster was for all the flooring
The second was for our deck
This one is JUST FOR.
Basement
Garage
I am sorry...I am usually "waste conscience" but NOT RIGHT NOW
It has to go and I don't have time to clean it up and find a home for it.

( I will probably end up posting it free on Craigslist before it goes in but if I don't, I won't have guilt :P)

So many things going on with my friends.
sickness, marriage problems, money problems, lack of sleep
I pray for healing for my friends.
A praise report on one friend's marriage..
She was at the end. Had plans to go.
She found a counselor that has figured out the issue in her husband..
(and the husband is willing to work on it)
They are on the road to healing. :)

I pray that we all remember that God supplies our NEEDS
if we don't have it right now, we don't NEED it right now.
I hope I take that into the New Year as my help

I saw this article a LOOOOONG time ago...
"Neat people get rid of neat things"
I have remembered that for a long time and it has helped me purge many NEAT things :P

so now I need to remember "IF I DON'T HAVE IT YET, I DON'T NEED IT YET" :D

Mike and I used to make our wish lists at the New Year and put them aside and check off waht we accomplished at the end of the next year....we haven't done that in a couple of years but I would like to do it again. ( now that I have an office and I can find a place to keep the list) :)

I am going to go have my first cup of coffee this morning. My sweet sweet friend mailed me a Starbuck's sampler and my house smells soooo good.

I love you friends, I really do.
(((HUGS)))

Continued from last post so you maybe want to read that first?

So I finished my last post with "I'll be quiet now" because what I was going to do was keep tooting my own horn and say "AND I "STARTED" TODAY..because I was talking about how fabulous my trying on jeans went. but I wasn't going to say it because , as always, it's TMI..I am a pro at TMI...
BUT! the reason I am saying it now..is because NOW I KNOW WHY THE REMARK AT KOHL'S BOTHERED ME SO! and everything else that was so "annoying"...

I was talking to my bestie today and she asked me if I was on my period...

oh my gosh bestie...THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME FIGURE OUT WHY EVERYTHING WAS ON MY LAST NERVE!!!

hormones hoover. :/

My friend picked me up around 5:45
we drove around while we talked
we were passing a Kohl's at 7
I asked her if she wanted to dress me like a Barbie doll
(this girl LOVES shopping...I would say "lives for it" but that's not entirely true..though she would make an excellent personal shopper and I am considering getting her a debit card from my account with her name on it, we had SO MUCH FUN!

I SWORE I would NEVER revisit skinny jeans and she got me to buy a pair....(she told me how jealous she was about how I looked in them..how could I pass them up?..gosh if you didn't really know me, I sound awful right now :P :P :P) lol

I have been wanting a pair of black tennis shoes. cute ones. not for running. not for cross training. not for Zumba. just cute black tennis shoes to wear with jeans to the grocery store. cute.
well, I got a pair of black Reebok Tone ups or whatever they are called. (they were on sale and I had a 20% off and I was tired of wanting them :P)
they had size 7 and size 8. The 8s were WAY too big and the 7s were a little snug but I thought I could handle it..
I got home and wore them around the house and they were just uncomfortable enough that for the money I spent, I was not satisfied.

we decided to take a family outing to Target. The girls and I all needed pantyhose and tights for the Nutcracker Ballet..we were all wearing pretty dresses.

while we were out I decided I would run into another Kohl's and see if they had a 7 1/2. Mike and the kids were going to run through DQ drivethrough while they had to wait for me ( I also had to try on bras..all I own are sportsbras and the pretty dress I was wearing needed something other than that :P)

Mike didn't have his phone with him..so I had no way of calling him when I was finished. It was 2:45 so I said.."let's just meet out here at 3:30"

when he pulled away I thought "you are going to stand in line at Customer Service to make an exchange, try on bras and CHECKOUT on "sale Saturday" at Kohl's the LAST Saturday before Christmas in FORTY FIVE minutes????" RRUUUUUUNNNNN! :P

so 1st stop...SHOES. they had my size...YES!!!
I am walking FAST..with a HUGE smile on my face...probably swinging my arms and possibly my behind..
walking walking..
I see an older man and lady sitting in the display massage chairs...
I smile EVEN BIGGER at them as I pass
I am thinking..
"they are so sweet, they must be tired from shopping and those chairs must feel good"
as I pass..the lady, in (what I assuming is) her most sour puss voice, asks "is there a fire?"

I am aware that doesn't sound mean..but you had to be there to hear the sarcasm...

so I am still walking fast, still smiling...but I was like "REALLY?"

[insert where I play the victim] um, yes, I have a van full of kids and a husband..it's very hard to getaway for this kind of "me time", unless it's 5am when stores are not open...I don't have family in the area that can help and it is OUTRAGEOUS paying for a sitter. Older sister, EVEN IF SHE WANTED TO HELP, is busy too..and my husband doesn't have a phone on him so I HAVE to hurry and WHY????when I just gave you the BIGGEST smile EVER do you even have to say ANYTHING at ALL much less SOMETHING SOOOOOO GRUMPY?????? (and Kristin, if you are reading this...we WILL do the babysit exchange in 2011 but I couldn't call you.I KNOW you are as busy as me right now. :P)

but I kept smiling and I kept walking fast.....
and there was a long line at Customer Service..and I kept smiling
and when I took care of the shoes...
I went to the bras
and when NONE of the bras I wanted had my size, I kept smiling
and I finally found one that would work
and then I was walking by this most gorgeous scarf
and I bought it

and I had to take Mia to get shoes..and the first two stores didn't have them
I kept smiling
The third store did..YAY PAYLESS!!!!

Got home, showered, got prettied up...
in the car...

oh here is where I have to stop my conversation with you.
Lesson learned with my first child..I should not have written everything she did...
I apologize to you and to her....well, I haven't apologized to her because we do not speak...but I would apologize to her if we did. :P

let's just say..Alex is a teenager
and there is a reason that God makes babies come out really really really cute, sweet and cuddly...because if they came out as teens...they'd never make it and humans would be extinct because nobody would ever reproduce :D
and some of you may have teenagers that have the highest amount of respect for you, their parent...and if that is the case..please count your blessing. :)

but even during our time of disrespect and her rolling of her eyes, I kept silent and continued to smile
and when we were walking to the ballet and my shoes were causing my toes to yell out because of the torture they were feeling, I smiled (it was a wincing smile by now ;p)

LOL...you know what...it keeps getting "better" and I keep smiling..
this is turning into one of those "MEET THE FOCKERS" type movies..where it just keeps coming..LOL

so I will finish with a happy summary

My friend is fabulous and she will be fabulous.
My other friend going through painful struggles is going to be fabulous
I am going to be fabulous.
I had an excellent time shopping with my girlfriend!!! we are going back on Sunday because we have KOHL'S CASH to spend :D It was sooooooo wonderful hanging with her not talking about husbands, kids, life...we were just girls...oh my gosh it was soooooo awesome!!! It was like having a sister!!!!!!!
(I was showing her new ZUMBA moves in the PETITE section :P)

and I will not brag about the size I got in but I will tell you, it was GOOD! :D Both of our mouths dropped!
AND
I will be quiet now.
:D

My friend just called me at 5:30 and asked if she can come get me because of the hurt she is going through. she is on her way. Obviously I won't share what is spoken to me..but I pray that I have ears to listen and that I keep my mouth SHUT unless they are words of healing....

I have been running crazy happy...I cannot believe how fast time flies when you are having FUN!

:) I guess it's the first Christmas without Sophia here that is getting to me
She makes me sad, angry, numb.
I , out of habit, want to say "it doesn't matter."
but obviously it matters.
I had a dream that my mom was lying on her back and I was straddling her none to nose eye to eye and I told her I hope she is happy
She lost her daughter and I lost mine
and hopefully the curse will stop here so Sophia won't lose her first daughter too.

I guess that dream tells me I still have some deep rooted anger issues.
DUH. lol
I am smiling.
I know I am on a good road. (believe it or not)
I cannot help that I had that dream
I shouldn't have let it put me in a funk.
but I did and now I know and now I have the choice on what to do from here.

I will keep moving forward.

I will appreciate the wonderful blessings I DO have. :)

(I cannot wait to get the video up of Siler doing a somersault..I don't think I talked about it on here but I know I did on facebook..it's hilarious!!! I have a goal to get it on here by 1/1/11 :P)

I am very frustrated..annoyed, embarrassed..ticked off...
wow! everything but joyful, hopeful, faithful huh?
I guess I should change that tude.

only a VERY best friend can tell me "Robbie, you have absolutely no structure in your life and THAT works for YOU!" :) (and if that sounded mean, trust me, it wasn't!)

that doesn't mean that I don't want structure, or strive for it...LORD DO I STRIVE FOR IT! but I have GOT TO QUIT BEING SUCH A WORRY BEING!

My very best friend informed me how fabulous my household is...
how amazing my children are
what a good Mama I am...

she reminded me to not play the compare game..
it's no fun
does no good

I love my friends.

and I am glad to be back. :)
Alex is sitting on the livingroom floor SURROUNDED by newspapers, cardstock, scissors, notebooks...what a mess. :P
I just took banana muffins out of the oven..oh, the sweet smell! and the taste?  even better!!! I have found the PERFECT banana muffin recipe. :D
Sam is playing her DS sitting next to Alex and her mess.
Mia just left with a friend....wearing her pajamas and snow boots...I guess that was okay? lol
Zach and Siler are wandering around the house in their undies...I put undies on Siler today...SPIDERMAN...I told him Spiderman doesn't want pee or poop on him so let me know if he has to go. :P Alex told me I should sit on Santa's lap and tell him "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY LAST ONE POTTYTRAINED" (it would be a lie though..my list is looooong :P)

I just got the phonecall that my ZUMBA class is cancelled tonight. BUMMER! I guess that means I should limit the amount of muffins I eat. :P (maybe I should throw in one of my DVDs and see if I can follow it :P lol)

actually I can use that time to practice some new songs! :)

ok, I am going to go love on my boys...and wait for Sam to come take her turn..she is such a love bug!

home from Zumba class...
even though I have changed ALL my clothes...(down to the socks and intimates) I cannot warm up....the sweat and cold mixture. :P
BRRRR!!!!!

well, my all or nothing old self is just what it is...All or nothing.
Two weeks ago I had a "menu plan" and I followed it for 4 days..
I take that back
I followed it for 3 days and on the 4th day I didn't follow it but we did use the meat that I had set aside for meatloaf and made nachos instead.
I think we have ate out everyday since.

I'll be back later..Siler wants to cuddle :)

I am here. :)
Just running in circles with a little cloud of blah trying to hover over me
but I think I am outrunning it :P

Watched the season finale of Biggest Loser last night...it was by far the "WEIRDEST" season.

I am sitting here in a towel with wet hair..I guess I could act civilized and get dressed, grab a cup of coffee..have a quick chat with Daddy and confess what a grumpy, pouty monster I have been (on the inside, no one really knows, well, now you do :P).

yea, I'll be back. :)

:) My Saturday morning Zumba girls have requested I "kick their butts" next Saturday because the two following Saturdays are Christmas and New Year's. :) :) :) I will be working on new Zumba songs tomorrow and the rest of this week. :)

I wish I would have been recording this morning..it was soooo hilarious..I actually had tears from laughing so hard (while dancing)  *letting out a happy sigh*

well, I am utterly exhausted...Mike and I got to take Alex on a date tonight. The four young ones went to Parents Night Out. We took her out to eat and then to the mall...where Mike went his own way because we were "intimates" shopping. :p
My feet hurt.

We were at Victoria's Secret and they had this 12 perfume sampler for $25 and we had a $10 off so we are sharing ..we get 6 scents each and we each like different ones, it's so cool :)

Before she got off work, I ran to her store and bought really cute clothes for Zach and Siler...the girls took pictures of the modeling show while I was whipping up some chocolate chip cookies so I may load them up tomorrow. :) but I got lots of clothes for them, and an AWESOME blue button down shirt for me and a pair of the tall boots that Mike doesn't like but they were $1! I was like "I CAN WEAR THEM WHEN HE IS NOT AROUND!" lol..for $1!!! They are not "seductive in any way! big ol chunky heels...lol....but Alex and I will probably still call them my hooker boots just because that is what Mike calls tall boots...*rolling my eyes* :P

I have to get to bed..I didn't realize how late it is..no wonder I'm exhausted. :P Good nIght!
xoxoxoxoxoxox

I think my gift for hospitality is a thing in the past. I would love to take a "gifts" test again.

They boys and I hit the town today. :)
Famous Footwear and left with new shoes for Siler.
Walgreens and left with like 6 calendars. :P One for each daughter and one for Zachary (he said he wants to learn how to use one) and two for me..one upstairs, one down.
Gift cards for all the nieces/nephews
Walmart and left with a chocolate longjohn and some glazed donuts..and some pretty baskets to put our crafts in..I am sure a picture is coming soon on that one.
I wanted to go vacuum the van but sweet Siler fell asleep and I decided to bring him home...now that I think about it, I should try to catch a catnap.

Today is Sam and Mia's LAST DAY of school until January something!!!!
We are having a Pizza/Movie night COOL RUNNINGS!!! :) :) :)

WOKE UP AT 3AM

I think I do this every Friday now.
I think it is because I know it is my day off and I don't have to be "ON" for Zumba.

I laid in bed until 4 and I couldn't take it anymore.
I have balanced the checkbook and paid bills.
It doesn't look good but it's only because I fronted my sweet 16 year old a lot...we are going to "talk" today. :P what I mean by "talk" is "COLLECT" lol

I have had many thoughts flying through my head (as always)...
I always feel bad that I am so compassionate.
I never want to be a downer when I speak of the hungry, hurting, homeless, abused..the sex trafficking...all that stuff...but it is who I am and it is what my heart knows.
I just don't know what God would have me do with this heart except PRAY...
and yes, I have faith..God given FAITH...but do I? Faith the size of a mustard seed is supposed to move mountains...
I just feel like the mountains I want moved are SOOOO LARGE and SOOOO MANY!

Father, please bless the ministries that already have their hand in your service...feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, helping the hurting, housing the homeless....

I am not a spoiled brat. I am blessed, beyond blessed. and I am grateful beyond words.
Thank you Jesus for my husband and the gift that you gave him for the field he is in...
Thank you that the field he is in is able to support the children that you have given to us (or lent us :P)
Seriously Father...please help me get to the bottom of my heart issue of why I am not a good servant with the money you allow us...I really want to make this change but I cannot do it on my own...though I know you give us each our own allowance of self control, please help me learn how to use mine????

Thank you so much Father for the friends you have placed in my life...some that I speak to on a daily basis..and the ones that I don't really know, but I know I love them...

Thank you for my health and ability to reach people through something as fun and fantastic as ZUMBA. One friend referenced it as "magic fairy dust" LOL!!!!! all I know is it's more than "dancing"..it is healing after a hard day...it is an escape from the uglies in the world (for one hour nothing can touch you!) it is soul food..so much FUN :)

I really want to start something..it wouldn't be ZUMBA..because ZUMBA is latin inspired..it is INTERNATIONAL music...African, Indian, etc... I want to create a "universal" dance..lol Christian Hip Hop :)  I hear songs all the time that I am like "OOOHHHHHH MYGOSH THIS WOULD BE FU UN!" :)

well, anyway...those are my Friday early morning ramblings....
it is 5am.
I think I am going to wake Alex and see if she wants to sneak to QT for a hot chocolate and an early morning WalMart run. :) :) :)

Have a super blessed Friday..I am sure I will be back, but if not..have a great weekend..

I am taking the boys to school today...going to try to get some things accomplished. Wish me luck. ;)
Maybe I will call a friend for lunch :)

OK! so I was going through the Gingerbread House Excursion and I didn't know how to pick which ones to share..so I put all of them in an album that you can choose to visit or not..:P

There are a couple of pics from when we were in Effingham that I didn't feel like taking out

There is a 3 second video of Siler that you can't really see because the lighting in our livingroom is really NOT lighting..but I tried taking it of him wearing the girls' heels.

there are just silly pictures of the kids and me one night after ZUMBA and it was a pizza night..YUM! I LOVE PIZZA!

There are pictures of me trying to show you some boots I bought..and took back...Mike does NOT like tall boots...but I wanted to capture the moment that I did have them in my possession..I never really accomplished it..but it was so funny trying

so all this to warn you, there are 60plus pics but I think I captioned the ones that were maybe otherwise unexplainable why I had them? lol

it's 10pm and I am heading to bed..see you all tomorrow :)

http://picasaweb.google.com/robbieniccum/20101208?authkey=Gv1sRgCKvlq7HEsY_uPA&feat=directlink

Taking care of business. :) Be back soon. :)

I keep coming over here to type and I don't have time!!!! Maybe later tonight?

I don't know if I can watch Biggest Loser without getting the itch to run a marathon!!!! I think if I had someone who would commit to train with me CONSISTENTLY. I would SOOOOO do it! I think that is going to be my 40th year birthday present. For real.

I don't know that you will be able to understand what I am saying but I will tell you anyway.

First of all , I still have a gym membership. Even though I cancelled in September...I kept getting charged and I call every month and FINALLY this month he asks "did you come in and sign papers?" um, NOOOO! duh on me! so anyway...since I have the membership till the end of the month, I decided to go to a ZUMBA class this morning. With MY instructor.
Towards the end, she did a familiar song and I almost starting crying...it was the feeling I had over the summer..being a student, not a teacher...in an old familiar place..I smiled the entire hour...and when the hour was over I could not hold back the tears...
I told my instructor I am quitting my job so I can come back and be a student...but then I told her I realize what it is...

have you ever been to a one week camp? Or an awesome vacation? and at the end, though it's time to go...you just cry happy tears from the wonderful memories and the sadness that it's over??? I had the BEST summer taking Zumba classes from my instructor, Tracy. I love her with ALL my heart...but it's time to go and it's so bittersweet.

okay....it's time to get the kids out of bed...
I watched a part of Joyce Meyer this morning...Alex and I were CRACKING up..it was about Abraham and Sarah having their baby after Sarah had already gone through "the change" and Abraham looked down at his own 90 year old body that was almost dead itself....www.joycemeyer.org if you want to see it yourself :)

We are having chili tonight. I am going to throw it in the crockpot on LOW this morning...and I found a very simple recipe for cornbread that I will make this afternoon, before I leave for Zumba.

Biggest Loser tonight. It is by far the worst season but I will still watch...I hope Ada wins but tonight is not the finale.

ok, you have a fantastic day..DREAM BIG and NEVER GIVE UP :) :) :)
xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox

I.want.coffee.

it's 9:00 and the girls are actually tucked in!

Dinner made, dishes cleaned, dinner for tomorrow prepped...homework done, backpacks ready for tomorrow.
I don't know how people are responsible EVERY DAY. I am zonked. :P
I am hoping this "responsibility thing" will get me out of my constant tornado...
I am aware it is going to take more than one day :P

Dinner tonight was not a winner..but that is okay..I'll keep trying.  :)

ok, I have to go to bed.
Good night Sweet Friends.
xoxoxoxoxoxox

GOOD MORNING! ) :) :)
It's Monday :)
I am on 6 hours sleep...which I know I used to get less than that but I have spoiled myself (as it should be) getting 8. :) but it's okay...Zumba will zap some energy into me this morning. :)

Alex and I went to WalMart last night. One of those really fun 2 hour excursions. :) I love those.

I hope all is well with you all today.

TAGG, I saw your chapstick and SOOOO wanted to buy it and send it to you  :)
(it's the thought that counts)

My coffee is ready..I am going to get Bible time in with my Daddy before the little ones rise from their slumber :P

xoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

how could I forget?

Yesterday, Mike was working on a computer...with a screwdriver, taking it apart...
Siler was sitting there watching the whole time.
A little while later Zachary brings me BuzzLightyear, whose back and batteries are missing..
I walk in the boys bedroom and asked "WHO TOOK BUZZ'S BACK OFF?"
Siler, grabs a screwdriver, and with the biggest, most proud smile EVER, he yells "I DID!!!!"

Mike asked, "HE KNOWS HOW TO USE A SCREWDRIVER?"
I said "well, he IS almost 3 and he has been watching you all day."
Mike "I never thought showing him how to use a screwdriver would be a bad thing."
lol
Good News..Buzz, his batteries,his back, and his wings have all been replaced and he is in great working order...
and Siler is sooo cute. :)

Mike and I went on a date last night with two other couples. It was a lot of fun. WAAAAAAY too expensive but a lot of fun. I told them we need to gather at homes instead of restaurants.

I just ordered some cute things from Zumba.com for Mike to put in my stocking. :) My new favorite color is aqua blue...I have Zumba pants and shoelaces in that color. Zumba is selling a scarf and mittens in that color. :) and I got a new shirt that says ZUMBA INSTRUCTOR on the back. :P WHOA HO HO. :P lol

I had a margarita last night. I seriously do not know why I do that to myself. It was delicious! and I was fine, but I wake up feeling lousy..what's the point? :( :/

well, I guess I will make a pot of coffee and get on with today? Mike and I need to get a sitter and get out of here to go Christmas shopping...and then find somewhere to hide it. :)

My rolodex needs a makeover in a bad way. I don't know how old it is but I don't talk to half the people in it anymore and Lord knows most of my friends have moved in the last 4 years....(it's been almost 4 years since we left Fort Smith)

well, some of you should be getting your DVDs by now....TAGG, I didn't get yours sent until yesterday so you have a few days.

today...I woke up late for me..VERY late..it was 7:45. I leave at 8:15 to take Alex to work and get to my work by 8:45. I had to shower and get my make-up on...
I taught a class without coffee or breakfast. :/ ;p
unfortunately by the time I got home, I already had a caffeine headache....that is so scary how caffeine does that and "one of these days" I will research WHY that happens...

it's now 2:30. Mike is out skeet (?) shooting.. it has become his Saturday hobby. :) He works VERY hard during the week, I am VERY glad he has an outlet. :) This is mine. :)

well, I am going to check out some new Zumba music....
xoxoxoxxo

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!
:) :) :) :) :)

in my Jamaican accent.."how 'bout I draw a line down the middle of your head so it looks like a butt."
 I love Cool Runnings, the movie!!! :) :) :)

I love empty trash cans and full tanks of gas.

and I love this verse...Colossians 1:10 That you may walk (live and conduct yourselves) in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in ALL things.

(that ALL is "something" isn't it?)

I can't go back and change anything but so many things come to my mind that I wish I could. I don't know that they would have made a difference or not?

well, choices have been made and only time will tell ..I can't change the past or predict the future soooooo.....I will reflect on Colossians 1:10 and start over today :)

It does sadden me to say this...last week I was SOOOOO excited that this is my FIRST YEAR in MANY that my New Year's resolution is NOT going to be "get healthy" or "lose weight" or whatever...I was like "YAAAAY ME!!!!" but then this morning as I was reading my Bible and just thinking....I don't think we have been to church since mid August!!! and I was like, well, we can make it our New Year's resolution to get back in the swing of things.:( I would have never thought I would be saying those words!!!!! A New Year's resolution to go to church???? well, I am saying it...and now that I have said it out loud, I am not sad anymore. I am humbled and excited. :) I know the whole term "if you wanna start something, why not now?" and maybe we could start now...and I could give you excuses why not..but I won't..we will just see. :)

My husband just stepped out of our bedroom..he is incredibly handsome and makes me smile :)
Siler just walked out behind him, jabbering away....
Mike is putting him on the potty for me...:)

I guess I should get off here and start my day...it was nice spending some of my morning with you. :)
I am going to try to get pics on here today or at least this weekend. :) I have them from Thanksgiving..the gingerbread house excursion :P

xoxoxoxoxxox